In Anguish and In Love

TESTIMONY!!!

2009-04-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

Well as some of you know i love playing guitar but i never had my own guitar, i've just been using my sisters. I offered to buy it off her and she was like NO, but she jsut resently got back from her traveling and i was telling her about my plan to move my money around so i would be able to buy a nice guitar i was looking at.... AAANNDD all of a sudden she had a mind change and just GAVE me the guitar!!! and well i had been praying for the funds and or other ways to get a guitar for a while now and that was just pretty sweet, so yea .. just wanted to blog since i hadn't in a while

2009-04-07T16:29:00.000-07:00

well i haven't blogged in a long long time since i've been writing everything in my note book if oyu want to see some of my work well it's getting more into music form heres the link!!
http://www.youtube.com/user/RusselLarson

If you let it, it will happen

2009-02-17T14:43:00.000-08:00

There are moments in our lives
That shape who we are
Events that make things click in

Passion could be created
Bonds tied tighter
Or wedges pushed between best of friends
Trust becoming an issue
Misconstrued actions pierce like the longest daggers

As life continues hurts can heal
If oppertunities are taken
The daggers get pulled out
Maybe forgiveness towards the offender

Through the pain and healing
The true friends are shown
Relationships are formed.
With whom?
With the people who will walk with you,
Through the thick and the thin.

a piece i wrote in writing class

woo haven't posted in a while so time for a mixer upper post!

2009-02-15T22:11:00.001-08:00

Saturday! - WEll it was valentines day!!!! and i would have blogged yesterday but i was tired ... :) well yea, i went and picked up Sam from the mall yesterday because she was shopping with her mom. I brought a boquet of yellow roses for her (you can see them at www.sam--middleton.blogspot.com ) and it was funny cause i came around the corner just as she walked out the door so that kinda worked out really well :P and there was some people standing around the door and a few of the girls were all .. "AWEEE" it was kinda funny. We then proceded to union street grill for lunch (since we couldn't go out for dinner cause of the church rehearsals for coemdy night.. more about htat in a bit) lunch was very good minus the weird salad Sam got .. lol but we did our little card exchange and Sam got me an amazing ring! and a glass cubic *describes further with a pic that will show up in a while* but it has an engraved picture of jesus on the cross on the inside .. it's super sweet! but yea then we went for a walk around the airpark before we had to go to the church, which was great because since we have pretty busy lives with school grad stuff and church/youth and work we don't get much time to just be with each other. After all that we headed on over to hte church and we worked on skits and practise and that general stuff!....

Sunday! - well i got tto the church at about 9:20 for the service to get ready to be on hte good ole' camera! we then had a little wendy's for lunch and long story short we ended up back at the church to practise all our skits for about 4 hours! by the end of the practise i was getting so everything was pretty funny ... (i was pretty darn tired) we to say the least the comedy night went off with out a hitch, and a BIIIIIIGGGG thanks to every one who bought tickets since the proceeds go on over to our mexico team! and the support from the pastoral team and all he encouragement and commplements will not go forgotten. it was just such a blessing i love you all!!

GENERATION UNLEASHED!!!!

2009-02-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

Well i can't really say much about it cause it would take away from how awesome it was lol. there was no words to express how it was to see around 4000 youth just worshiping and lifting up their hands to God. It was a phenominal few days learning from some of the big names in portland hearing from P. Doug Lasi, JUDAH SMITH!!!, Donna Lasit, Asim Trent, Poncho Lauder, everything they said was great and had such great oppertunity to apply it to my life. and through all this i got to thinking, why is it so easy to worship in a room of 4000 kids but when we are alone or with some of our friends that aren't saved we hold back or we just don't tell them about God we have to be the ones to raise the bar. because the amount of youth there is about 80% of the comox valley`s youth... so one question is .....what is stopping us? what is stopping us from getting that many youth here together in the valley to just praise God. so i challenge you to take the big step and go and just talk to your friends about God what is there to loose? you might get a weird look, ooooo nooo. All im saying is that we need to start living like we have something to live for.

2009-01-30T19:34:00.000-08:00

Fan the flames of our hearts
Cause our opressors to run
Flee for your lives
Have your way in our lives
Lord come like a rushing wind
Pour out your spirit oh God

Let your glory fall
We stand here
And how can we not be moved
Find the lost
Heal the sick
This generation rising up
To full fill your plan
Our hearts stir
Hosanna

We fall to our knees
Our hearts break,
For what breaks yours
Run as we might
But you're right behind us
Waiting for us to realise
Your love, Your love

2009-01-30T19:12:00.000-08:00

Injustice is rampant
Bother us, oh God
Kids being sold,
For the pleasure of the wicked

Slaves of this century
Never to be set free
So poor, unable to even
Afford names for the children
Bother us, oh God

Aids epidemic
Destroying families
Bother us, oh God
Give us wisdom

Not even water to drink
Nor do they have food
Oh God
Bother us!

weekend for conquerers

2009-01-11T17:32:00.000-08:00

Well first of all i would like to say that this weekend, well pretty much rocked me. i really needed this since I've been feeling pretty dry lately and i really needed a filling up.

Fill me up

How did I end up like this
So empty, so dry
I need your touch
The words you know I need to hear
Fill me up, fill me up

Teach me to listen
To dig deeper than the surface
Give me passion, give me dreams
Show me these things

It's you who's there
When I want to run
To run and hide
When it's so tough
You break me down and
Fill me up, you fill me up

When you speak
Just to remind me that I'm your son
Just to say your proud of what I've done
To reassure my mind

Broke down my walls
Shattered my chains
Set me free from this pain
So full of the spirit
You've brought me back
I've been filled, God you filled me up

This whole weekend was just such a trip from the first night i knew it was going to be powerful and God was going to be right there the whole time. The first pre-service prayer i could tell that his presence was going to be so tangible. As i was praying i could tell that I was already getting filled. The first session was great, Kristina did such a great job!... (thanks again for coming all the way from California for us!) She spoke about being amoung the few and the faithfull that would be there and respond to God when ever he was speaking.

The next morning I was just sitting there with my bible and i just opened it to John 19, where it's going through Jesus' crucifiction, and God was just telling me that these people didn't want to go out side their comfort zones or outside their single mindedness to just believe that this was the messiah that would save their world. And as he is telling me this it was just starting to rock me and put a burden on my heart for the people who dont believe just because it just seems like such an outrageous claim that a man could be the son of God.

Crucify

They sought what they hated
What their deceit had shown
Not wanting to believe
Not wanting to break their "law"
Only one goal
Blinders on only one thing in sight,
Crucify!
"The blood will not be on me,
I'll hand him to you" said the one who knew
Crucify!
The man they were looking at
But they never saw
Hung on that tree
Nails in hand for you and me
Blood spilled that was so pure
Every prophecy fulfilled
Not a bone broken to rise again
In three days come

After i wrote that and had this scripture fresh in my mind Jason walked over and just asked what i was thinking and what would i preach to a group of a thousand if i had to right now..(also a funny coincidence which you will find out later) and i said i would preach about the heart of God for the lost and the ones that don't understand and don't want to believe because of what people will think or what people will do.
Later on in the second session Kristina talked about the Transforming Encounter, and how to deal with our sin through repentance, and the gifts of the holy spirit. Then during worship Sandra Naswel had a word about having visions and how we have to take hold of them, and about life callings and such. Right after that we had a time to just talk with God while hte band played The revelation song, so i sat in the back on a couch not thinking anything big was a bout to happen. But as soon as i said "God what is the calling you have placed on my life" pretty much instantly he said ...."you're going to be a pastor" it hit me like a ton of bricks cause i never saw myself as doing stuff like that since i never have really like public speaking (this is what ties into what Jason said the day before :p )
That night the always amazing Saturday night session was on the transforming encounter and hte time to be changed. and how we were formed for a purpose, that we are God's masterpiece. And how the holy spirit is pretty freekin awesome!!!! so after we had our session it was the ....dun dun "MINISTRY TIME" which is always so phenominal with the holy spirit think like butter in the room people got baptised in the holy spirit, God changed my heart andi know he worked in so many people that night, and i had many a good thing spoken over me, and well frankly I can't put it into words so I'm just going to continue. This morning when we got all our stuff packed and ready to go we got into the main room and i just opened my bible and it opened to Matthew 24 i think it was where it was talking about the reserection of Jesus which i think was some what of a "coincidence" that at the begining of the weekend i read about the crucifiction and now I read about the rise from the grave...

Only One To Defeat Death

For three days you were down
Just as you had said
The one and only
To conquer death
Only you

You knew the road you were on
Headed to save the earth
Worlds pain on your shoulders
Every chance to call on the angels

Rose again for all of mankind
To give hope and joy
Even some still doubted the scars
The one messiah
Only you

Accending to heaven
Leaving us down here to live
Live a life for you
Shine the justice and truth

After the whole pre-service prayer we had a last and final session about the Enduring Encounter, and it was pretty much amazing. well there is so much i left out but i dont want this to be like 7847857278 pages long and im kinda getting tired of typing lol so well i hop that was enough info for now :P and it was a freekin amazing weekend ... oh and i am the CHAMPION OF WII BOXING WOOOOO *flex*

wont be posting much in the next bit

2009-01-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

Sorry to those who pop in to check if i have writen anything, i wont be posting for the next month probably unless i writing something really phenominal ! :P i am getting bogged down with school work and need to pick up my grades and study for exxams so i will be blogging at some point just not now :)

Leave Me Alone

2008-12-26T07:58:00.000-08:00

This love so strong
For God and you.
The deciever is lurking
Behind the corner
Tring to twist thoughts.
I close my eyes and he is there
To put doubt in my heart
To lie, To steal
In the name of Jesus
Leave me alone!
Because these pessimistic thoughts
Are not my own.
God cause I know you love me
And so does she.
But there's a battle in my head
Thats almost won.
As I step on Satan
He cries out...
"Your nothing, and she hates you"
But I reply....
"All you do is lie,
So why should I beleive you,
Now get out and die!"

CHRISTMAS!!

2008-12-26T07:53:00.000-08:00

well christmas was pretty freekin sweet. im not going to be a long one cause i don't want to be typing for a long time so yea, i kinda woke up at 530 in the morning and watched a bit of tv till every one else woke up at 630 so we started rippin stuff open :P i ended up getting a few really awesome sweaters, another shirt and a freekin sweet sports jacket blazer ... !!! WOO and i also got an awesome digital camera! WOOOO yea so later around noon i went over to Sam's house since her mom had invited me which i was pretty stoked about :) so after me and Sam exchanged gifts ( she got me lacoste calogne (i was freekin stoked) and an awesome note book which i needed dearly) and i have already broken in the note book which is going to be my next post :P but yea we played wii for the whole afternoon pretty much then i went home and had family dinner with the grandparentsa...

So overall it was a very good christmas and now time to do another post cause i don't want it in this one :P

The Love

2008-12-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

The trek of our lives
The snow spins our tires
Stuck until he comes
To pull us out
The love, The love

We crash into ravines
God is our tow truck
Ready for the call
Ready to come to our aid
The love, The love

Obstacles that come out
Of no where
Swerving to avoid
We spin out,
Spiraling away from safety
Letting go, leaving it up to God
He guides us back
We let loose,
Our discretion fades, just to show
The love, The love.....The love

Back to blogging

2008-12-04T20:11:00.001-08:00

So yea i haven't blogged in a while cause i have been kinda busy and then again not really, just been working and catching up in english so i haven't had the time to write anything. But i am going to try and get back at the blogging and stop slacking off :P i will hopefully have something up this week!

One

2008-11-16T19:24:00.000-08:00

One breath and every star is birthed
One blink and every galaxy formed
One word and there is light
You counted the stars and named each one
One insignificant person
Just a dot on the map
Yet you love me so much
Nothing we can do,
Will make you love us any less or more
Unconditional love.
We try to run but you wait for us,
With open arms and a loving embrace.
One God, One earth, One heart

consumeddedddd part 2!

2008-11-16T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hokay so....FRICKEN SATURDAY WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! now that i got that out of my system i will tell you about it ! so in the morning, Matt and I did our skit which we did very well as we have been told on many occasions :P and i will try to get a video of it on here at another time.

But right after that it was worship and you would think that a bunch of kids running on 5 hours of sleep or less wouldnt be that into worship?? WRONG it was so powerful, and im so glad that all the Youth there pressed in so hard first thing in the morning. That is always a good sign for what is to come later in the day, but yea the worship was phenominal and it just gives me such joy to see so many youth just together praising God with such intensity. Pastor Ira did a phenominal Job of his sermon ...AGAIN. all the sessions were just so powerful and Holy spirit inspired it was so awesome.

Workshops! well i went to Politics in canada which was done very well my our very own Pastor Matt!!! he did such a great job of teaching how we as youth can do something to help out in politics and government, very very good. The second i went to was on evangelism which was done by Pastor Mike from the comox penticostle Also phenominal, teaching us how and what to do to tell people about Jesus!. But best of all the was the ministry time after the last session, like as Pastor Ben said the holy spirit was so so so so tangible, every one was crying and so many people were getting baptised in the holy spirit. ... in summary it went on for 2 hours and it was so GOOD!!!!!!

CONSUMED

2008-11-15T07:18:00.000-08:00

So as most of you know we have an annual youth conference called Consumed at NorthGate. So this whole week in the up coming of it, i was so ridiculously excited and it started last night. As the people were fiulling in for registration i was just so pumped for what was going to come next. And what came next you ask? ....THE SERVICE, and you know sometimes on the first night of a camp or conference people dont press into God as much, well i am happy to inform you that they sure did press in.
The worship was phenominal and pastor Ira freekin amazing as usual, we ar eso bless that we have great speakers at Consumed like Ben and Ira, they are such amazing men of God and i thank you guys for coming down to speak for us.

Well its the start of Day 2 the BIG Saturday, and im so excited for whats to come with the Sessions, Workshops, Worship, Service project and all the other great amazing things that will come with consumed. You can expect another update post after all is said and done, if your lucky there might be a few poems to come out of this too :P

In Predicaments Path

2008-11-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

Moments go by in life
Where we are so on fire for our Father.
Running towards him for a big embrace
We get struck down by obstacles
They shake our emotions, our faith
Wondering why these things happen to us
Crying out at God,
While we are still on the ground
As we are reminded,
That this is why we know God
Not just know about him
So that we can talk to the spirit
He gives us the strength to stand back up
Shake off the dust
Wipe our tears away
These things are out of our hands
And into his

Have you ever?

2008-11-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

SO today was the leaders training meeting with Terry Jansen.. phenomenal man of God. So many of the things he said today were such a challenge to me and encouraged me oh so much. One of the things he said he does is go to the park by himself just to be alone with God, so i thought hey why not so after the meeting i just went and walked around the air park ..yea its pouring rain, but did Jesus ever give up because of a minor inconvenience the answer is NO!

As i was just walking around i was just talking to God heart to heart conversation, this was one of the most power things i have ever done. Just taking time to be with God and just talk to him is always a crazy ouch that just hit me like a ton of bricks time.

I noticed as i was walking and talking and worshipping at the same time ( yea i can multi task.. wanna fight about it :P) that on each bench there is a memorial to a person or a couple, and i started to wonder, Did they ever know God? Did some one ever talk to them about God?

Just thinking this caused my heart to ache for those that were never told about God or never had the opportunity to get to know him, and the crazy amount of youth in this valley that have never learned about God or who have walked away because a circumstance has shaken their faith because they only knew about him and didnt know him personally. So i challenege you guys to just get out of your way just to spend time with God cause he will put stuff on your heart. Maybe its scary what he wants you to do but i can garentee it that if you go through with it you will never regret that you obeyed!

Youth rally

2008-10-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday we left at 3 oclock to head up to Sunshine Hills for the youth rally!!! we got there a bit late but who really cares righT??? We got to see great friends from camp, it was just a super time. WE slept in the church and we wrestled matt beat me in our 3 round series..(i won first round) but got owned by the chimera submission twice......my neck now hurts quite alot! (my black eye also went away..yay! It was a great way to spend part of the weekend and im so glad i went!

Captivated

2008-10-22T22:47:00.000-07:00

My heart slows almost to a stop
My eyes held fast by your beauty
When I'm cold your love warms me
When anger is present you calm me
This captivation that consumes my being
No other could suffice
These holes in my soul only to be filled,
By God and you
Goodbyes, never wanting to let go
Could stand in this place for hours on end
Letting go, knowing that it wont be long,
Before I see you again

Heart held fast

2008-10-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

Our hearts are put in all the wrong places
Trying to find the place where it fits best
Throwing it around so recklessly
Comeing back to us, mangled
Searching for reform,
Something to restore
A life of suffering, not knowing where to go
Walking along, right into this love
The heart once tattered
Now fits right into your hands
Oblivious to the wonders
Fairy tale made real
Beating ever so fast
In the grasp of your hands
It calms

ThanksGiving Poem

2008-10-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

All we do is live and you love us
We mess up but you created us
When we doubt you give us hope
You gave youe one and only son for us
As we are unable to fathom it,
We give you thanks for what you done
Through the thanks we are able to give
Your love, Your word, Your son.
Some have so little,
But yet thanks are still extended
Pockets empty,
But yet they still give.
Letting your light shine through
Like a blazing fire.
Letting our hearts be seen
For what they are.
No words can express our thanks
Truely this is agape love.

Emotions - lead or be led

2008-10-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

Emotions shape us
Personalities birthed out of feelings
Given a choice, fork in the road
Be led, or lead
Regretting the things we have done,
While being led by the emotions
Hoping for good things,
As we lead our emotions
The power of these feelings
Overwhelming as it seems
The power if used correctly
Can give self control
The heart, a deceiver
As it would lead you,
Ending up lost, pained
Turn it around and lead the deceiver
Influence the influencer
Things all change

We want or Greed?

2008-10-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

Taken for granted the things we have,
Only ever notice,
When they're stripped away.
Materialism has taken over
People bringing up their children in this
Taught self serving
We want, thinking it brings happiness
Across the world they need,
Knowing it will take away the pains
Strongholds of chains, shattered
Midset altered.
Speaking out against this issue
Even though our mouths wont open
Each word dents the chain
Each meaningful thought cracks the rings
Chains now flawed, weakened
Crumbling at the feet, of the people
Who are willing,
To take on the giant we named..
Materialism.

Untitled .. for now

2008-09-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

When ever I'm near you
My heart soars to the highest heights
When ever I see you
I'm drawn to your radiance
Your gone for only a day,
Yet I miss you like its been years
Embraced, time ticks by at a stand still
Kissed, moment entombed in time
Clocks shattered, lasting forever
Thoughts shake my bones
Paintings move the eyes
Rhetoric moves the heart
You move my soul.
Need a shoulder to cry on?
Need someone to laugh with?
Need to just be held?
These shoulders are vacant
Always ready to laugh
And I would never think of not holding you.

I got a Car

2008-09-27T08:01:00.001-07:00

So this last tuesday i got a car, woot woot! Yea im really excited (no matter how girly jay thinks it is), i got a 97' sunfire GT in amazing condition. i cant really think of anything else to write so ill get some pics up of it in a bit

I never knew her, but yet my heart aches

2008-09-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

One year today, events unfold
On the trail of life
As if a tree has fallen
The ground of my life shaken.
Personally I didn't know her
But Knowing how close you two were,
She would be so happy to know
That you would go to the ends of the earth
Talk to every one about this cause
I never knew the bond between the friends
Just hearing about it brings me to tears
Fears cast away, worries abolished
Because Dancing with Jesus is the cure
Many things can bring back memories
Things that bring a smile to your face
Maybe a tear to your eye
Peace strewn over you like a blanket
An overwhelming calm
Just to know that She is walking with Jesus
But only one set of footprints is to be seen

Who are we?

2008-09-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

Created for a reason,
Right here on earth
Seeking out the shadows, the light
Desperation to discover who we are
Decipher our purpose.
We research, experiment
Our futile efforts are in vein
Maybe we are looking,
In all the wrong places.
Striving to unravel our own fairy tale
Finally looking to God
What we find is a father, Savior.
Soft words spoken over our small life
Words that encourage, build up
Through this rhetoric we find what this is.
That God has a plan laid out for us
Our book opened wide
Popping up, images of our life
Who we are, discovered

To live, To love

2008-09-14T21:41:00.001-07:00

To live and to love
Never having felt such ecstasy
The overwhelming joy, contentment
Vocalizing the feelings
Saying "I love you"
These words pierce my very soul
Eyes sparkle as their name is said
Can't speak the words from my head
Mouth numb, throat dry
Warmth straight from you
Calms this very heart
Your smell drives me crazy
Your eyes, Your smile
Are what keep this heart beating.
Straining to keep my composure
Struggleing to stay on my feet
Oh how easy it would be,
To callapse into each others arms for eternity

Thoughts from the heart in love

2008-09-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

Hand in hand
Heart racing so fast
This dream coming true
I never thought,
That I would ever find someone,
That I wouldnt have to be,
Subject to change.
Known you for so long
Next to Forever it seems to short
Never thought it could happen this fast
Knowing that it will endure the test of time
Built on the Rock
Not on the Shale
This structure is called love
Hanging on the edge of love for a while
But tonight I fell.....

Dirt,Blood,Fear

2008-09-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

Twisted minds, twisted faces
Bullets flying with blood spraying
Alone in the trenches with hundreds of others
Futile attempts at victory
Dirt flying at the faces of pain
Shell shocked minds,
Shrapnel torn lives
War at its worst, millions die
It's notabout who's right,
It's about who is left
In the Aftermath
In the obliteration

this poem and my one about hitler have both been inspired by my history class so i thought i would write them right there while watching the movies about the world wars

Spark to Blaze

2008-09-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

Spark, a tiny resemblance of flame
Caught in a cloth that spark takes flight
Spark to Fire, Fire to Blaze
Raging fire storm for Christ
Shining light given off
Enveloping the shadows
Every corner bright
Those hidding from the light cringe,
Then realize hate isnt right
Rock bottom is where some of us are at
No where else to turn but to God
Not knowing what to say or what to do
We cry out, our souls flowing out of our mouth
Verbalized are our hurts, are our thoughts
This flame never to fizzle
This flame never to die out.

THRIVE!

2008-09-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

Well tonight was the kick off of THRIVE youth church ^_^ and im am so excited for what is to come. Al lthe goals set for this youthgroup all i can say is "LETS DO IT" i am just so excited for the growth that is going to go on spiritualy and in size. I know our God will be there with us in our works and goals, and if we dont accomplish them this year who cares it will happen and FRIK IM EXCITED!!!!

Hilter's a jerk bag to say the least

2008-09-09T22:17:00.000-07:00

Taken from our families
Exiled and starved
Thrown in the dirt
Our mouths stiched shut in their minds
Opinions disregarded
Skin stretched tight, mummified alive
Bodies consuming themselves
Deteriation from the inner being
Skeletal figures of man
Gased and burned alive
Their ashes asend to the air
Torturers breathe in the prisoners
Tossed in a pit, Starved
Haulacaust full force
Hated for no reason

can't comprehend

2008-09-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

People look down on each other
Degrading, breaking down.
Words that we pretend down hurt
In reality slice our hearts wide open.
Just because they are a different color
Just because they don't fit in
Just because they aren't "perfection"
The Shallowness of our thoughts
Scrape the surface, and that is all we see
Abhored, tears flow down our face
Racsism is rampant, I can't comprehend
My soul is a open wound for your pain
Not knowing how to respond
Or how to act
The weapon of words, is also the healer
Speak up tell those who care.

Grading is scetchy

2008-09-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

Anticipation tied to fear
Anxiety mixed with Calmness
Last time ever walking into this structure
Never to walk the narrows again
Leaving into the unknown
Full of trepidation
Leaving what you have always known
Walking blindly into life
With only few things to guide you
Not knowing what to do
Or where to go.

Hardest Hearts still break

2008-09-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the Back of the room
In silence, wondering if this is it
In darkness, wanting change
Crying out, and crying within

Working on your heart
Softening it to the ones that love you
God speaks to your heart
Even if you don't hear

Ears sewn shut to the world
Ignoring those that love
Hurts beyond comprehension
Seeking, Straining

The love that is apon this man,
Finaly breaks though
Darkness shattered, Sudden understanding
Blinding like a flood light

Stiches fall, Smile shown
Hearing once more the words of love
Hurts Abolished, no more strain
No more seeking the one love is found

Dive in

2008-09-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

Just Dive in im here for you
Trust me it will work out
Dont be nervous
Dont fear
Dont wonder what if
Because im here.
My heart cries out to you God
I pray and you answer
I ask and you give
I sit and wonder
You placed her in my life
Im forever greatful
With tears running down my face
I cry your name
With words of gratitude

Well tonight was a... well life changer for sure. As many of you know Sam and I have liked each other for a while, And as i was driving back to Matts house to drive her home i cryed out to God asking him "what should i do" . His answer was ... "dive in Russel im here for you"

Well and as i pulled it to Sams house i asked her the big Question. That took so much off my heart. and all that was replaced with Joy and the worlds most strongest of happyness. There are no words for the way i feel.

Foreign Feelings

2008-08-31T21:04:00.000-07:00

Sitting here wondering
Sitting here loving
Sitting here crying
My heart is pouring out
No words to explain this
It's all I can do to contain myself
The day is near when we will unite
My soul is ripping out of my skin
Tears of joy flowing down my face
The feelings in my being are foreign
Never felt them before
Insides melting,
It's all I can do to hold you
Feeling your warmth keeps me alive
Seeing you completes my day
Hearing you, I go crazy
Smelling you, makes me high
Sitting here wondering
Sitting here loving
Sitting here crying

The Best Things

2008-08-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

Over looking the beautiful creation
Such a vivid example of your love
With the one and only in my arms
Sitting in pure bliss knowing you are God
My heart is flying, on fire for Jesus
Pounding, racing for you are resting on me
Trying to sleep, not able.
Thoughts of you rush like rain fall in my head
So cold, your body keeps me warm
Your touch keeps me alive.

My Week

2008-08-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

Well we started out last Sunday early in hte morning packing our stuff into hte bus to get ready to head to Camp 08. We all knew that it would be amazing, although the rain did dampen the spirits at first.
But after the first day the rain continued, and Camp as always was absolutly amazing. Also as usual God was there pouring out his love on all 200+ teens at this camp. Through out all the games and fun God was at work in the background since the first night about 20 kids got saved (WOOOOOO). Tuesday came and there was a service on Freedom and Forgivness that night and P. Corey came up to me about 1 hour before hte service and talked to me about my blog and asked me to write a poem for hte night and asked me if i could share it during worship. So i went back to my cabin and just sat there thinking about what i could write and as usual the words just kinda flowed onto the paper. If any of you guys know me you will say that yea i deffinitly do not like public speaking and i said htat to P. Corey and what he said next really hit me. "Russel its not public speaking, its part of worship." that sentance rocked me and that night i said the poem to the camp during worship and when i got back to my seat i just broke down.

This is the Poem i Wrote....
Free Falling Serenity
Coming from a Dark Place
Once lost, but now found
Jesus had blood drawn for us
Freedom strewn over our lives
Living in serenity, feels like falling
People do us wrong,
Digging deep we search ourselves
Finding it in us to forgive
Floating on the spirit
We rest in his spirit

Wed. night P. Derrik talked about giving and it was just so amazing the way he said it and the way the holy spirit talked through him to touch us on the subject.'
Thurs. P. Danny talked abut serving. It was also just amazing

On the final night last night Pastor Terry spoke on just how much Jesus loves us and we just had an amazing time of ministry and there wasn't a single dry face in that room that night every one was broken down crying and a ton more ppl got saved. New relationships were made and it was just so amazing at how God works in our lives and how he hits us in just the right places and how he speaks just what we need to hear

Here is a couple other poems i wrote while i was there...

Subtle Silence
Laying on your back
In the subtle silence
Whispers in your soul
Placeing a burden on your heart
Not letting your faith become stagnant
On fire for God, becoming ready
To live for the cause
Ready to lay down your life
For the vision.

Hard Questions
We sit and wonder.. Why?
We stand and think .. How?
We lay and ponder.. When?
The hard questions,
That know one knows,
The answers to.
What will happen here?
It's left unanswered
Leaving it up to God
Our insomnia ceases
We are calm knowing
God is our Guide.

camp WOO

2008-08-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

So yea if oyu didn't now im going to go to the foursquare youth camp up in chilliwack WOOO O so for hte next week i wont have anything posted but when i get back i will have alot to say and a bunch of poems to put up so i hope you come check it out when im back :D

2 days till camp

2008-08-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

So yea im pretty excited, so excited that i havnt even packed yet and i have to work those last 2 days ...>.< but yea its gunna be amazing as the new campers will have the experience and the chance to meet new ppl. So its gunna be amazing and we will have the chance to grow as friends and some of us will grow as leaders and others will grow as followers of Jesus.. well we will all grow in different ways and its just going to be amazing .. and i still hav eto pack

Heart sing

2008-08-20T23:15:00.000-07:00

Lying on your back
In silent darkness
Thinking of you brightens the room
Music playing making my heart sing
Praising the Lord for what he has made
We stop and look at the beauty
Of nature and each other
Hearts pounding
Going a million miles an hour
Thoughts flying
Going a million miles an hour
Time slowing
Minute by minute
To a stop so we can be in this moment forever

First day at work

2008-08-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Well today was my first day at thriftys bakery!!! I got there and Ursula took me around the store to meet every one and then we got to work. So i was trained in almost all the ways of packaging ... which i did for 6 hours lol but it was sweet.

Shift guys hang

2008-08-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

Well it was pretty awesome not gunna lie, we went out to the driving range at muligans golf coarse and we jsut hung out and hit some ballz. was a great time of friends ship and just having fun with friends. After that we went to 7/11 and got slurpees and just walked around the airpark talking it was a good day despite the rain and wind but that is going away in a doy WOOO

Weather changer

2008-08-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

Rain falling from the sky
Weather never consistant
Always changing, never staying
Thinking of you i look outside
Causes the sun to shine on my heart
Thinking of you it's always bright
Consistant is your smile
The power to change the weather in my eyes
Even though it's raining
It's beautiful and bright all the time
Even though it's raining
You are always on my mind

Been waiting

2008-08-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

Been waiting for so long
Knowing that this would happen
Waiting for the future to come
Feeling as light as air
Thoughts only of you
Your my angel without wings
My insperation
I look into your eyes
I'm instantly lost
Seeing your smile
Bringing one to my face
Hearing your words
My hearts flys

feelings

2008-08-17T23:32:00.001-07:00

Floating on Clouds, detached from reality
Heart soaring high on wings of emotion
Feels so right, knowing that this is it
God put us in this path called life
Indescribable in a dream
Only nothing this good is ever in a dream
With out you I would crumble
With out seeing your smile, your eyes
I don't know what I would do
Your voice calms my nerves
All that i think about, minds racing
Lasting to the end of time

WOOOO!

2008-08-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

So yea im pretty pumped for this next month and a bit, Cause of youth kick off (any youth that read this .. you will wanna be there..) and cadres are gunna be launched and im just so stoked for what God will do this year and what he will be doing through us leaders. And camp is in 1 week!!! wwoooo so yea that is gunna be amazing to for all the first years that will be there its going to be a fun and powerful time

Inspired to Inspire

2008-08-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

Invigoration flowing through your heart
Enthusiasm towards the things at hand
Around the Corner we are ready to start
Inspired by the inspirer the holy one
Motivation to pick up the cause
To own the vision, that you may die
For the beliefs that you have
Playing to our strengths
Causing our weaknesses to shrink
As we possess the dreams
As we live for the greater good
Our shadow mission is defeated

Awesome weekend

2008-08-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

So this weekend we had the leadership summit, last night we watched 2 videos and there was so much teaching that my brain hurt a wee bit but i was so good as well.
Bill Hybels Talked about a vision to die for and that we must own our visions to see them take flight and not just be hirelings that would split as soon as trouble happened. That we shouold be willing to die for our visions. Today we watched 4 videos and P. Craig talked about getting first tiem guests in the church to being ful ltime family members, and how we really need to be loving people and how just to get them "fused" into the church. There was so much other teaching and it was all so good, and i learned so much as well as got hit with stuff i have problems with and thta i need to face them head on and work those out. That we all need to build on our strenths and in that our weaknesses will be strenthed as well.

I was also touched when sheila pulled me and Sam aside and told us that some of the church leaders ie. P. Scott, have been reading our blogs and that they were inspired by what they had read there and had seen some of our poetry and they wanted us to get on board to write a poem for thanksgiving. We will be praying about this and thinking it over to find out exactly what God wants us to say as he will speak through us. The poetry would be going along to Pictures taken by the photography team aswell.

And on one of the breaks after watching the Richard Curtis interveiw, some of the youth (Me, Sam,Jesse,Matt and Jason) figured out that we wanted to raise $100,000 and go to africa sometime in the future and bring a small village that had nothing at all, everything. We would be building them houses, churches, schoolhouse, and all other stuff like that. I right away was pretty stoked, a fire just lit in my heart at the idea of doing this. So we are reaserching what we would need to do and how much and all the other details like that but it would just be so amazing to give a place that had nothing.. everything.

Nature

2008-08-15T21:52:00.001-07:00

Glistening in the sun light
Mirror like surface reflecting the beauty
Of the mountains on either side
Birds flying looking so majestic
The love of God so clearly displayed
That he would create this wonder just for us
Fish leaping from the lake
Rings running from it
Perfect reflections of life living in the water

So i got some new freekin sweet shoes!!!

2008-08-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

So yea i was walking around in winners hoping to find some sweet shoes cause every time i go there all the good stuff is gone then i put my eyes on these bad boys!!! I also got a sweet oneil shirt and some jeans i was pretty stoked!

Sit and wonder

2008-08-14T22:41:00.001-07:00

Well today i went hiking with a couple of my greatest friends (Sam, jason,kelsey, and jesse) and it was just amazing. The weather is finaly back to its hot hot hot, which is simply DIVINE!! :P

But as we were sitting on the rocks looking over battleship lake, we were just sitting in silence enjoying the veiw over the galssy water and the slight breeze all in the valley of the mountains. I was just in awe of how awesome God is, that he loved us so much that he would create this world with all the beautiful this just like that. Things like this just hit me hard that we have these things all around us but we never take time to stop and smell the flowers or jsut sit and take in the beauty. Instead we through are garbage all over and wreck this surface that we call home. Just like what Pastor Scott said in his blog post "Psalm 8 where it says, "...You [God] put us in charge of Your handcrafted world...". And yes we drive cars and polute it liek that but even the little things count like picking up garbage when you see it or other small things liek that that make the huge impact.

Poverty

2008-08-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

Sitting there on the dirt
Staring up at you with sad little eyes
Breaking your heart ever second
Orphaned since birth
Just wanting one bite to eat
Just wanting to get an education
All we can do is empty our pockets
Give out of our hearts, and soul
Pouring out love to these children
They sit in class learning about their creator
Praising his name, as they thank the people
That cared enough for another life
No matter how far away
These children still deserve a chance at greatness
A chance to grow in the God that created them
Not stopping for one moment to curse him
Not resenting where they were born
But loving him with all their hearts

Sunsets

2008-08-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

Blood red sky, light outlining the clouds
Flame licking at the darkness
Not wanting to leave grasping at the night
Hills swallowing the burning ember
Fire, the forests worst nightmare
Trees consuming the inferno
Fighting for its life to escape the gloom
The Battle has started and onlookers stare
Not knowing the struggle that is going on
Spectacular as it seems
Tortured is the conflagration in the sky
Romantic, and beuatiful is this war
Defeated the Sun falls, only to rise again

Getting in shape

2008-08-12T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well i just realized how out of shape i am for a skinny guy like myself lol.. so I am going to make a commitment to go for a run alteast once a day and maybe workout a wee bit aswell, not only will this get me more healthy but i will be less bored in my day. (and i need the excersize to grad.. but that is beside the point), this is a big step for me since you know im the kind of person who doesnt like excersize, but today i ran for a good 40 mins soo woo me lol

Love

2008-08-11T22:01:00.000-07:00

This feeling inside of me, is unexplainable
Its like my heart is going to rip out of my chest
Breathing slows, can't speak
Get all shacky, overwhelmed
This time it just feels right, not like the others
This time my heart is pounding not like the others
This time words wont come to mind
Cause all that is there is you
God speaks guidance, he is there
Smiling as he watches
His path unfolds, reveiling what is true
Confirming the notions
We pray to God
That he stir up a passion in our hearts
To live for him and spread the light

When all hope seems lost

2008-08-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

Doubt, deception encrypted in our minds
Till hope is gone, no where to turn
Always swore we wouldnt turn to drugs
That doesnt seem to matter now
Just a joint, just a few brownies
Concequeses arn't thought of
Just a way to escape reality for just a few hours
Then back to this hell
Not knowing that God is just waiting
For when you realize what you're doing
Passed out in the hospital, you cry
As the reality clicks in
Guilt sets in knowing that in desperation
You turned to substance instead of spirit
Friends all around careing and praying
Tears flow over the cheeks
Feeling the presents of God
The love of God is resting on your shoudlers
Even though you took one thousand steps away
It's only one to get back

life recently

2008-08-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

Well in this past year i've grown so much more in who i am in God and every thing but just recently iv just been pressing in way more. The diference is huge in my life, like i never use to just worship when ever would only do it on wed. and sun. but jsut a few days ago i decided "hey why not" so i tossed on some hillsongs and just worshiped, and guess what it was one of the most powerfull times of worship iv had in a Loong time, so if you just take the time to slow down in life and jsut have your moments wiht God and just listen to his voice, things just go better. With all the great friends and leaders all around me to help me grown in Christ has been such a blessing on my life as i reflect this last year, jason always speaking encouragement has been huge( thanks so much man) and friends like Sam and Matt and hte rest of the youth church leadership team, just want to say you guys are so amazing and i love every one of you.

So i wanna just encourage every one who reads this just take time to sit back and have your moments with God in the silence, cause in doing this iv discovered talents that i didnt even know were there as well as passions for worship and other things liek this so, i hope as you read this its encouraging and uplifting. :)

Worship

2008-08-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

Sitting in awe of the presents of God
Praising his name, you sing
Talking to your father in heaven
In the troubles of your life there is reasurance

While in the stillness His voice is heard
Letting us know how he loves us
Knowing everything about us
Pouring out his love and pride over his children

His voice plucks our heart strings
Emotions run high, tears flow
Resting in the love of God
Holding you in his hands never letting go

Although we are singing to our almighty father
His confidence is good, he knows he is God
The praise is to him but for us
We are the ones that struggle, and need the love
So just sit back and let God love you and love him back

Machines

2008-08-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

The disassembled apparatus sits in the corner
Requiring attention the parts rust
Not usefull anymore people walk by ignoreing it
Decommissioned, wires spread out on the floor

Once standing tall, magnificent
Serving people as if it loved them
Got out of control it was worshiped
Deus Ex Machina

One individual recognized how mistaken it was
He pilfered it, then dashed the head of this beast
Citizens in outrage, asphyxiated this boy
Idolization was over back to routine

Forgotten what had once been revered
Resting in a pool of bloody oil
The machines cold cadaver
Waiting to be fixed and brought back once again

(dues ex machina---latin for god from a machine)

Music

2008-08-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

Melodic harmony surges through the air
Lyrical lamentations touch the abyss of your being
Sound so full of passion flows through your head

Irresistable reverberation
Silence is severed by this noise
Poetic expressions well up inside of you

Can't sit still or become stagnant
Cosumed but constant motion
Tranquility, relaxation
Resonant echo calms the nerves

Rhetoric can raise the dead
As long as you speak with ardor
Loathing is evicted from your heart
The Beauty of this music can heal all

....

2008-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Thoughts rush through the mind of the young
Emotion cluttererd all throughout your head
Never felt this way before
Not knowing what to do walking in blindly

Butterflies assult your stomache
Can't describe the way you feel
Thinking and smiling for eternity
Even speach seems hard to handle

Can't sleep, constant actions
Laying on your back looking into darkness
Contemplating what to do next, not knowing
Waiting was the best option, Decisions made
It will all work out

Paradise

2008-08-10T19:57:00.002-07:00

Blistering heat calms the nerves
Laying in the presents of this utopia
Soft sand on your back as you bask in its glory

Golden streets lined with giant palms
Coudn't be more magnificent
Blue sky, clean atmosphere

Peering down apon yourself realizing
That heaven was closer than anticipated
Seeing your self laying there in the filth
While siting by your fathers side

The leper

2008-08-10T19:57:00.001-07:00

Diseased flesh hangs off the bones,
Desecrated is their life,
Hope disintegrated, conscience depleted.

Shunned from population,
Even his own kind banish the living corpse,
Screams are heard as people run in fear.

Synapses fail, thinking ceases
Wretched looking cadaver,
Breathing is no longer an option,
Crumpled to the floor, his dream acheived

Fireworks

2008-08-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

Glowing stars penetrate the darkness
Silence is ruptured as explosions sound
Overwhelmingly beautiful array of light
Shadows are removed from the vicinity

Gloomy clouds of gunpowder hang overhead
Nostrils are filled with the wretched odor
Yet eyes are still immovable from the display above
Cheers seem to be whispers alongside the explosions

Animals whimper and whine at the sound
Not knowing what is taking place
Allthough its a celebration
They sit in fear, dreading what will happen next

Silence is returned unscathed
Darkness creeps back to every corner
All that is left is the stars up in the expance of space
Which are now shunned from the onlookers
Since the show is over they scurry away

Tofino morning

2008-08-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Gloomy mist hangs over head,
Haunting, not showing the unknown
Surrounding, collapsing over the bodies
Constricting, all the senses

Seeking out what you think is there
Walking over the sand, stepping on every grain
Accustomed to the sensation of being walked on
Damp from the constant cloud around you

Crashing, prowling, the waves seek the prey
Chasing after inocent victims
Once again the Wave is conquered
Sulking back into the depths of the mysterious darkness

Wind blows away the constricting mist
Clarity is acheived, cheers are uttered
As conceited fools we boast
Tripping over our victories, we fall

Plants life (the poem that started it all)

2008-08-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

The Burning inferno, the source of light
Ostracized it seems out in the vast expance
Yet it still gives us warmth,
until the clouds steal it away.

Plants cry out in anguish, a straining plee
They live no more the source of life is hidden
Posture is slumped breath gone, sustinance depleted

Straining to escape the dark, the light fights
Prevailing, the misty presents is ripped out of exsistance
Blinding all that seek it, shadowing all that cringe

Gasping the plants sits up, it's plee answered
Anguish extinguished, breathing deep
Relaxing, as the foot falls on to its small life
Snuffing out what once was.

Well I jsut joined the blogging world!

2008-08-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

Well as you can see I finaly gave in and made a blog. I have been thinking about making one for a while, but after some thought (and jason telling me i should make one :P ) well.. I did it !

This blog is probably mainly gunna be poetry i write and the odd thing of stuff that happens in my walk with God. This may include random things like vids or pics, and other things i encounter in life. So I will be posting again soon :D