Foreign Feelings

Sitting here wondering
Sitting here loving
Sitting here crying
My heart is pouring out
No words to explain this
It's all I can do to contain myself
The day is near when we will unite
My soul is ripping out of my skin
Tears of joy flowing down my face
The feelings in my being are foreign
Never felt them before
Insides melting,
It's all I can do to hold you
Feeling your warmth keeps me alive
Seeing you completes my day
Hearing you, I go crazy
Smelling you, makes me high
Sitting here wondering
Sitting here loving
Sitting here crying

The Best Things

Over looking the beautiful creation
Such a vivid example of your love
With the one and only in my arms
Sitting in pure bliss knowing you are God
My heart is flying, on fire for Jesus
Pounding, racing for you are resting on me
Trying to sleep, not able.
Thoughts of you rush like rain fall in my head
So cold, your body keeps me warm
Your touch keeps me alive.

My Week

Well we started out last Sunday early in hte morning packing our stuff into hte bus to get ready to head to Camp 08. We all knew that it would be amazing, although the rain did dampen the spirits at first.
But after the first day the rain continued, and Camp as always was absolutly amazing. Also as usual God was there pouring out his love on all 200+ teens at this camp. Through out all the games and fun God was at work in the background since the first night about 20 kids got saved (WOOOOOO). Tuesday came and there was a service on Freedom and Forgivness that night and P. Corey came up to me about 1 hour before hte service and talked to me about my blog and asked me to write a poem for hte night and asked me if i could share it during worship. So i went back to my cabin and just sat there thinking about what i could write and as usual the words just kinda flowed onto the paper. If any of you guys know me you will say that yea i deffinitly do not like public speaking and i said htat to P. Corey and what he said next really hit me. "Russel its not public speaking, its part of worship." that sentance rocked me and that night i said the poem to the camp during worship and when i got back to my seat i just broke down.

This is the Poem i Wrote....
Free Falling Serenity
Coming from a Dark Place
Once lost, but now found
Jesus had blood drawn for us
Freedom strewn over our lives
Living in serenity, feels like falling
People do us wrong,
Digging deep we search ourselves
Finding it in us to forgive
Floating on the spirit
We rest in his spirit

Wed. night P. Derrik talked about giving and it was just so amazing the way he said it and the way the holy spirit talked through him to touch us on the subject.'
Thurs. P. Danny talked abut serving. It was also just amazing

On the final night last night Pastor Terry spoke on just how much Jesus loves us and we just had an amazing time of ministry and there wasn't a single dry face in that room that night every one was broken down crying and a ton more ppl got saved. New relationships were made and it was just so amazing at how God works in our lives and how he hits us in just the right places and how he speaks just what we need to hear

Here is a couple other poems i wrote while i was there...

Subtle Silence
Laying on your back
In the subtle silence
Whispers in your soul
Placeing a burden on your heart
Not letting your faith become stagnant
On fire for God, becoming ready
To live for the cause
Ready to lay down your life
For the vision.

Hard Questions
We sit and wonder.. Why?
We stand and think .. How?
We lay and ponder.. When?
The hard questions,
That know one knows,
The answers to.
What will happen here?
It's left unanswered
Leaving it up to God
Our insomnia ceases
We are calm knowing
God is our Guide.

camp WOO

So yea if oyu didn't now im going to go to the foursquare youth camp up in chilliwack WOOO O so for hte next week i wont have anything posted but when i get back i will have alot to say and a bunch of poems to put up so i hope you come check it out when im back :D

2 days till camp

So yea im pretty excited, so excited that i havnt even packed yet and i have to work those last 2 days ...>.< but yea its gunna be amazing as the new campers will have the experience and the chance to meet new ppl. So its gunna be amazing and we will have the chance to grow as friends and some of us will grow as leaders and others will grow as followers of Jesus.. well we will all grow in different ways and its just going to be amazing .. and i still hav eto pack

Heart sing

Lying on your back
In silent darkness
Thinking of you brightens the room
Music playing making my heart sing
Praising the Lord for what he has made
We stop and look at the beauty
Of nature and each other
Hearts pounding
Going a million miles an hour
Thoughts flying
Going a million miles an hour
Time slowing
Minute by minute
To a stop so we can be in this moment forever

First day at work

Well today was my first day at thriftys bakery!!! I got there and Ursula took me around the store to meet every one and then we got to work. So i was trained in almost all the ways of packaging ... which i did for 6 hours lol but it was sweet.

Shift guys hang

Well it was pretty awesome not gunna lie, we went out to the driving range at muligans golf coarse and we jsut hung out and hit some ballz. was a great time of friends ship and just having fun with friends. After that we went to 7/11 and got slurpees and just walked around the airpark talking it was a good day despite the rain and wind but that is going away in a doy WOOO

Weather changer

Rain falling from the sky
Weather never consistant
Always changing, never staying
Thinking of you i look outside
Causes the sun to shine on my heart
Thinking of you it's always bright
Consistant is your smile
The power to change the weather in my eyes
Even though it's raining
It's beautiful and bright all the time
Even though it's raining
You are always on my mind

Been waiting

Been waiting for so long
Knowing that this would happen
Waiting for the future to come
Feeling as light as air
Thoughts only of you
Your my angel without wings
My insperation
I look into your eyes
I'm instantly lost
Seeing your smile
Bringing one to my face
Hearing your words
My hearts flys

feelings

Floating on Clouds, detached from reality
Heart soaring high on wings of emotion
Feels so right, knowing that this is it
God put us in this path called life
Indescribable in a dream
Only nothing this good is ever in a dream
With out you I would crumble
With out seeing your smile, your eyes
I don't know what I would do
Your voice calms my nerves
All that i think about, minds racing
Lasting to the end of time

WOOOO!

So yea im pretty pumped for this next month and a bit, Cause of youth kick off (any youth that read this .. you will wanna be there..) and cadres are gunna be launched and im just so stoked for what God will do this year and what he will be doing through us leaders. And camp is in 1 week!!! wwoooo so yea that is gunna be amazing to for all the first years that will be there its going to be a fun and powerful time

Inspired to Inspire

Invigoration flowing through your heart
Enthusiasm towards the things at hand
Around the Corner we are ready to start
Inspired by the inspirer the holy one
Motivation to pick up the cause
To own the vision, that you may die
For the beliefs that you have
Playing to our strengths
Causing our weaknesses to shrink
As we possess the dreams
As we live for the greater good
Our shadow mission is defeated

Awesome weekend

So this weekend we had the leadership summit, last night we watched 2 videos and there was so much teaching that my brain hurt a wee bit but i was so good as well.
Bill Hybels Talked about a vision to die for and that we must own our visions to see them take flight and not just be hirelings that would split as soon as trouble happened. That we shouold be willing to die for our visions. Today we watched 4 videos and P. Craig talked about getting first tiem guests in the church to being ful ltime family members, and how we really need to be loving people and how just to get them "fused" into the church. There was so much other teaching and it was all so good, and i learned so much as well as got hit with stuff i have problems with and thta i need to face them head on and work those out. That we all need to build on our strenths and in that our weaknesses will be strenthed as well.

I was also touched when sheila pulled me and Sam aside and told us that some of the church leaders ie. P. Scott, have been reading our blogs and that they were inspired by what they had read there and had seen some of our poetry and they wanted us to get on board to write a poem for thanksgiving. We will be praying about this and thinking it over to find out exactly what God wants us to say as he will speak through us. The poetry would be going along to Pictures taken by the photography team aswell.

And on one of the breaks after watching the Richard Curtis interveiw, some of the youth (Me, Sam,Jesse,Matt and Jason) figured out that we wanted to raise $100,000 and go to africa sometime in the future and bring a small village that had nothing at all, everything. We would be building them houses, churches, schoolhouse, and all other stuff like that. I right away was pretty stoked, a fire just lit in my heart at the idea of doing this. So we are reaserching what we would need to do and how much and all the other details like that but it would just be so amazing to give a place that had nothing.. everything.

Nature

Glistening in the sun light
Mirror like surface reflecting the beauty
Of the mountains on either side
Birds flying looking so majestic
The love of God so clearly displayed
That he would create this wonder just for us
Fish leaping from the lake
Rings running from it
Perfect reflections of life living in the water

So i got some new freekin sweet shoes!!!

So yea i was walking around in winners hoping to find some sweet shoes cause every time i go there all the good stuff is gone then i put my eyes on these bad boys!!! I also got a sweet oneil shirt and some jeans i was pretty stoked!

Sit and wonder

Well today i went hiking with a couple of my greatest friends (Sam, jason,kelsey, and jesse) and it was just amazing. The weather is finaly back to its hot hot hot, which is simply DIVINE!! :P

But as we were sitting on the rocks looking over battleship lake, we were just sitting in silence enjoying the veiw over the galssy water and the slight breeze all in the valley of the mountains. I was just in awe of how awesome God is, that he loved us so much that he would create this world with all the beautiful this just like that. Things like this just hit me hard that we have these things all around us but we never take time to stop and smell the flowers or jsut sit and take in the beauty. Instead we through are garbage all over and wreck this surface that we call home. Just like what Pastor Scott said in his blog post "Psalm 8 where it says, "...You [God] put us in charge of Your handcrafted world...". And yes we drive cars and polute it liek that but even the little things count like picking up garbage when you see it or other small things liek that that make the huge impact.

Poverty

Sitting there on the dirt
Staring up at you with sad little eyes
Breaking your heart ever second
Orphaned since birth
Just wanting one bite to eat
Just wanting to get an education
All we can do is empty our pockets
Give out of our hearts, and soul
Pouring out love to these children
They sit in class learning about their creator
Praising his name, as they thank the people
That cared enough for another life
No matter how far away
These children still deserve a chance at greatness
A chance to grow in the God that created them
Not stopping for one moment to curse him
Not resenting where they were born
But loving him with all their hearts

Sunsets

Blood red sky, light outlining the clouds
Flame licking at the darkness
Not wanting to leave grasping at the night
Hills swallowing the burning ember
Fire, the forests worst nightmare
Trees consuming the inferno
Fighting for its life to escape the gloom
The Battle has started and onlookers stare
Not knowing the struggle that is going on
Spectacular as it seems
Tortured is the conflagration in the sky
Romantic, and beuatiful is this war
Defeated the Sun falls, only to rise again

Getting in shape

Well i just realized how out of shape i am for a skinny guy like myself lol.. so I am going to make a commitment to go for a run alteast once a day and maybe workout a wee bit aswell, not only will this get me more healthy but i will be less bored in my day. (and i need the excersize to grad.. but that is beside the point), this is a big step for me since you know im the kind of person who doesnt like excersize, but today i ran for a good 40 mins soo woo me lol

Love

This feeling inside of me, is unexplainable
Its like my heart is going to rip out of my chest
Breathing slows, can't speak
Get all shacky, overwhelmed
This time it just feels right, not like the others
This time my heart is pounding not like the others
This time words wont come to mind
Cause all that is there is you
God speaks guidance, he is there
Smiling as he watches
His path unfolds, reveiling what is true
Confirming the notions
We pray to God
That he stir up a passion in our hearts
To live for him and spread the light

When all hope seems lost

Doubt, deception encrypted in our minds
Till hope is gone, no where to turn
Always swore we wouldnt turn to drugs
That doesnt seem to matter now
Just a joint, just a few brownies
Concequeses arn't thought of
Just a way to escape reality for just a few hours
Then back to this hell
Not knowing that God is just waiting
For when you realize what you're doing
Passed out in the hospital, you cry
As the reality clicks in
Guilt sets in knowing that in desperation
You turned to substance instead of spirit
Friends all around careing and praying
Tears flow over the cheeks
Feeling the presents of God
The love of God is resting on your shoudlers
Even though you took one thousand steps away
It's only one to get back

life recently

Well in this past year i've grown so much more in who i am in God and every thing but just recently iv just been pressing in way more. The diference is huge in my life, like i never use to just worship when ever would only do it on wed. and sun. but jsut a few days ago i decided "hey why not" so i tossed on some hillsongs and just worshiped, and guess what it was one of the most powerfull times of worship iv had in a Loong time, so if you just take the time to slow down in life and jsut have your moments wiht God and just listen to his voice, things just go better. With all the great friends and leaders all around me to help me grown in Christ has been such a blessing on my life as i reflect this last year, jason always speaking encouragement has been huge( thanks so much man) and friends like Sam and Matt and hte rest of the youth church leadership team, just want to say you guys are so amazing and i love every one of you.

So i wanna just encourage every one who reads this just take time to sit back and have your moments with God in the silence, cause in doing this iv discovered talents that i didnt even know were there as well as passions for worship and other things liek this so, i hope as you read this its encouraging and uplifting. :)

Worship

Sitting in awe of the presents of God
Praising his name, you sing
Talking to your father in heaven
In the troubles of your life there is reasurance

While in the stillness His voice is heard
Letting us know how he loves us
Knowing everything about us
Pouring out his love and pride over his children

His voice plucks our heart strings
Emotions run high, tears flow
Resting in the love of God
Holding you in his hands never letting go

Although we are singing to our almighty father
His confidence is good, he knows he is God
The praise is to him but for us
We are the ones that struggle, and need the love
So just sit back and let God love you and love him back

Machines

The disassembled apparatus sits in the corner
Requiring attention the parts rust
Not usefull anymore people walk by ignoreing it
Decommissioned, wires spread out on the floor

Once standing tall, magnificent
Serving people as if it loved them
Got out of control it was worshiped
Deus Ex Machina

One individual recognized how mistaken it was
He pilfered it, then dashed the head of this beast
Citizens in outrage, asphyxiated this boy
Idolization was over back to routine

Forgotten what had once been revered
Resting in a pool of bloody oil
The machines cold cadaver
Waiting to be fixed and brought back once again


(dues ex machina---latin for god from a machine)

Music

Melodic harmony surges through the air
Lyrical lamentations touch the abyss of your being
Sound so full of passion flows through your head

Irresistable reverberation
Silence is severed by this noise
Poetic expressions well up inside of you

Can't sit still or become stagnant
Cosumed but constant motion
Tranquility, relaxation
Resonant echo calms the nerves

Rhetoric can raise the dead
As long as you speak with ardor
Loathing is evicted from your heart
The Beauty of this music can heal all

....

Thoughts rush through the mind of the young
Emotion cluttererd all throughout your head
Never felt this way before
Not knowing what to do walking in blindly

Butterflies assult your stomache
Can't describe the way you feel
Thinking and smiling for eternity
Even speach seems hard to handle

Can't sleep, constant actions
Laying on your back looking into darkness
Contemplating what to do next, not knowing
Waiting was the best option, Decisions made
It will all work out

Paradise

Blistering heat calms the nerves
Laying in the presents of this utopia
Soft sand on your back as you bask in its glory

Golden streets lined with giant palms
Coudn't be more magnificent
Blue sky, clean atmosphere

Peering down apon yourself realizing
That heaven was closer than anticipated
Seeing your self laying there in the filth
While siting by your fathers side

The leper

Diseased flesh hangs off the bones,
Desecrated is their life,
Hope disintegrated, conscience depleted.

Shunned from population,
Even his own kind banish the living corpse,
Screams are heard as people run in fear.

Synapses fail, thinking ceases
Wretched looking cadaver,
Breathing is no longer an option,
Crumpled to the floor, his dream acheived

Fireworks

Glowing stars penetrate the darkness
Silence is ruptured as explosions sound
Overwhelmingly beautiful array of light
Shadows are removed from the vicinity

Gloomy clouds of gunpowder hang overhead
Nostrils are filled with the wretched odor
Yet eyes are still immovable from the display above
Cheers seem to be whispers alongside the explosions

Animals whimper and whine at the sound
Not knowing what is taking place
Allthough its a celebration
They sit in fear, dreading what will happen next

Silence is returned unscathed
Darkness creeps back to every corner
All that is left is the stars up in the expance of space
Which are now shunned from the onlookers
Since the show is over they scurry away

Tofino morning

Gloomy mist hangs over head,
Haunting, not showing the unknown
Surrounding, collapsing over the bodies
Constricting, all the senses

Seeking out what you think is there
Walking over the sand, stepping on every grain
Accustomed to the sensation of being walked on
Damp from the constant cloud around you

Crashing, prowling, the waves seek the prey
Chasing after inocent victims
Once again the Wave is conquered
Sulking back into the depths of the mysterious darkness

Wind blows away the constricting mist
Clarity is acheived, cheers are uttered
As conceited fools we boast
Tripping over our victories, we fall

Plants life (the poem that started it all)

The Burning inferno, the source of light
Ostracized it seems out in the vast expance
Yet it still gives us warmth,
until the clouds steal it away.

Plants cry out in anguish, a straining plee
They live no more the source of life is hidden
Posture is slumped breath gone, sustinance depleted

Straining to escape the dark, the light fights
Prevailing, the misty presents is ripped out of exsistance
Blinding all that seek it, shadowing all that cringe

Gasping the plants sits up, it's plee answered
Anguish extinguished, breathing deep
Relaxing, as the foot falls on to its small life
Snuffing out what once was.

Well I jsut joined the blogging world!

Well as you can see I finaly gave in and made a blog. I have been thinking about making one for a while, but after some thought (and jason telling me i should make one :P ) well.. I did it !

This blog is probably mainly gunna be poetry i write and the odd thing of stuff that happens in my walk with God. This may include random things like vids or pics, and other things i encounter in life. So I will be posting again soon :D